MH6?

Been very quiet on the MH6 scene? What is the plan? Are we going on a trip next year? I have the hall pass for a trip and would hate to give that up. Once it is gone, it is a another battle to get it back.

Smut Peddler was asking if there were any Crappie in Canada?

MH5 Quotes

1. "I'm going trolling" - Bardo (while tied up near the smallie reefs in Wapesi)
2. "Hi Barb, we are on our way home. Get a sleeve of golf balls and meet me upstairs at 11, I will explain later" - Lac Vegas
3. "I think I am coming down with something" - Flounder
4. "Does anyone remember if I had dinner last night???" - Badger the morning after passing out in the boat and nearly setting his shoes on fire at camp.
1. Gotta go with Badger, "Does anyone know if I ate dinner last night?"
2. Check out this lure, it's got 8 independently moving parts to make it look like a real swimming motion – Flounder
3. Cooter's reply to me when I said "I think I'm coming down with something" was classic... "yeah, it's called acute vaginitis..." I laugh my ass off everytime I think about it.
4. "...Dammit Timmy, Poco, (any other boat partner) get the net it's a big one... " big fish. "FU, get the net yourself. Every on of big fish's boat partners."
1) “Honey Badger needed a nap” – Big Fish when describing trip home from Wapesi with the Badger.
2) “Oh man why do I drink?” – Badger upon arrival of morning, day after nap.
3) “No I ain’t messin with no stove, I just do what they tell me” – Caretaker Kevin
4) “look at Jim’s hair, what’s he cut that with, a Flowbie?” – Rusty (I think) when viewing the 4 day unwashed beauty of Poco’s mane.
5) “Next year American beer only, all that’s left is that piss” – Cooter, repeatedly.
6) "Boom goes the dynamite!" - Rusty after anything of even minor significance happens. Also, “Strong move to the hoop”

14) So... You boys goin to the Chocolate Moose? We'll Come On! - City Cab driver, International Falls, MN
15) You boys goin to the Moose, eh? - Friend of City Cab driver, International Falls, MN
16) The Moose has got a great walleye sandwich fellas! - Friend of the friend of the City Cab driver, International Falls, MN
17) What exactly do you mean by knives? - DDR, Canadian border
5) Whooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo - Big Fish, Cooter, DDR, Lac Vegas
6) Taylor fell in - Everyone
7) Take a picture of the beaver - DDR
8) I half threw up - Cooter
9) I completely threw up - Bardo
10) MMMM...love Lakeport Pilsner - Everyone
11) Beer break - Poco
12) The pole bent - proprietor in Sioux Lookout
13) Lots of weeds - Jody and Jackie
"Honey Badger don't give a sh*t if he passes out in the boat". -Rusty (I think)

Todd Andreini - Official Nickname and Camp Assignment

After considerable deliberation and many sleepless nights, I have come up with the official nickname and camp assignment for our newest member of the Muskie Hunters.

Nickname - As we're all aware, TA helped save our trip. If not for his last minute addition, Flounder and Poco would have been resigned to fishing solo the entire week due to their rude and obnoxious behavior. We would have also encountered issues with gaming partners (what fun is it to play beer pong on a one man team?), car assignments, cooking duties, etc., etc.. In a way, TA has proven to be very courageous for stepping up at the last minute to join this ruffian crew of Muskellunge Hunters. His courage has reminded me of someone else who has shown courage in years past. Whether peeking his furry red head up through the floor in the fish house floor knowing full well that it was occupied, diving into the gut bucket to check for scraps, or staring down the barrel of Gary's 12 gauge shotgun during his final seconds of life, Rusty showed the profound courage of a true Muskie Hunter. Due to TA's courage and his appearance which slightly resembles a tree fox, Todd has been given the highest honor. From this day forward, Todd Andreini shall be known as Rusty (may God bless his soul).

Camp Assignment - As we're all aware, Rusty is a disgusting rookie bastard that likes to spend his days digging in guts and other assorted vile material. Due to this personality disorder, the executive board of the Muskie Hunters has created a new position. Responsible for daily maintenance activities of the shithouse and surrounding areas, Rusty's duties will include... Toilet paper and wet wipe replenishment, odor control (use the lime liberally), mosquito control (nobody likes to be bitten on their creamy white thighs or ass during the act of fried fish recycling), grounds maintenance including clean-up of the 1,000 or so matches that Bardo will burn during his frequent nighttime visits to the shit hole, and last but not least, porn replenishment and rotation (new magazines expected daily). Rusty is our Outhouse Steward.

On another note.... Due to Mitchell's (notice that he has lost the nickname of Yogi) sudden withdrawal from MH5, we have an open position. Cooter has accepted the position of Firewater Chieftain. Rumor has it that he has already contacted the L.C.B.O. to insure that our order is packaged and ready to go upon arrival in Ft. Francis. Congratulations Cooter!

Good fishing,

Big Fish

The Ballad of Tim Shauf (sung to the theme of The Beverly Hillbillies)

Come and listen to a story about men who fish

Poor desk jockeys barely kept their annual wish

Then one day Fillet says he won’t come

And up from the ashes Schauf says wants some

Friendship that is, real guys, cold beer

Well the first thing you know Tim’s a fishin’ man

The Hunters said “There’s got be a better plan!”

Said, “Boulder’s where you need to stay!”

But he packed up his shit and tried not to look gay

Hard that is, fancy hair, manicure

Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Tim and all his stuff

He’d like to thank y’all, but the trip was kinda rough

He’s been missing since he took the guts and off he drove

Probably lost somewhere deep in Badger’s cove

Shame that is, no more Tim, at least we got TA

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Lac Seul iPhone App

For those of you that have iPhones, Navionics makes a charting App for USA & Canada Marine and Lakes which includes Lac Seul. It is $14.99 and uses the phone's GPS for routes, waypoints, etc. Search for "Navionics Canada" in the App store. It also downloads the maps you want to the phone so you don't have to worry about the lack of cell phone reception. At first glance, it looks identical to the Lowrance H2O device we have been using. I was able to quickly pinpoint and mark the location of Tom's, Cooter Cove, Cooling Island, Back Bay as well as Taylor's lost German lure on the cliff face and of course the soiled fish towel from Thor's El Diablo incident.

Navionics USA & Canada Lakes App

Oh, and Taylor considering your history I would highly recommend this accessory to go with it:

Aquapac Waterproof Floating iPhone Case

Minnetonka Muskie Lunge - D. Sanchez Style

1. Minnetonka Muskie Lunge

sexual maneuver performed while a swamp donkey is giving a gentleman head in a hot tub or sauna. As the cum drunk slute goes down on the man he must wait until the perfect time to strike. Lunging forward with his hand he must shove his thumb in her anus and clasp her vaginal cavity with his other fingers like a muskie's mouth. Then pulling her flailing legs and torso out of the water like a fish.
Derek executed a successful Minnetonka Muskie Lunge on the Sea Donkey at the Fletchers volleyball afterhours.
swamp donkey sea donkey slute minnesota rusty trombone dirty sanchez tony danza birmingham booty call cum drunk

2. Musky Waffle

When A person Shit's into a waffle iron and eats the creation off their partners titties!
I know she truly loved me when she asked for the Musky Waffle.

Instead of breakfast this morning I decided to ask my girl if she was down for the Musky Waffle.


3. Double Musky

A double musky is when a man/woman eats out the butt hole of another man/woman and gets a poop mustache, then makes out with that man/woman and transfers poop to their upper lip giving them a poop mustache.
Bob ate out Jane's butt hole and then they made out. After, they both had shit all over their faces... it was a pretty bad Double Musky.

Bob and Jane like to double musky

Who does this remind you of?

I just couldn't help but think that this is what Jim was like after his first six-pack of Miller Lite.  He kind of acts this way now, but it takes a good 12 beers to get him there.  I especially like the scream!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs

Official Nicknames and Camp Assignments

Hello Muskie Hunters!

Our trip to the pristine waters of Lac Seul is now within sight! Less than 5 short months to go!

As you're aware, we've made some changes to our camp assignments for MH5. With that said, some of our nicknames don't quite match up with our official camp duties. Never fear, they still fit. Listed below are your official camp nicknames with explanations....

Bardo - Full of merriment and song, ye ole' Bardo has been known to strike up a tune at a moment's notice whether on the water or in camp. Bardo has also been known to tell some tall tales of his fishing prowess, sighting numerous "near misses" and botched netting opportunities. John Cooling is Bardo.

Smut Peddler - A very dirty, nasty man with porn constantly on his mind and poontang on his breath, the Peddler is always moments away from delivering an extremely graphic and sometimes disturbing display of spine tingling naughtiness. Jeff Harlow is the Smut Peddler.

Poco Pez - Small fish catcher, nothing more. Jim Kay is Poco Pez.

Big Fish - Renowned throughout North America for his fishing prowess, Big Fish has dominated the Big Fish Grand Championship. Other anglers despise him and fish fear him. Also known as Babe, Big Fish is guaranteed to "go large" yet again. Thor Petersen is Big Fish.

Dudley Do-Right - Perhaps a more fitting name would be Doobie Done-Right, Dudley is known for his strict discipline around camp and his odd sleeping habits. A friend to Native Americans, Dudley will insure a good time in Sioux Lookout. Bring your wampum. Steve Burke is Dudley Do-Right.

Badger - Known for digging earthen holes and ferreting out small game, the Badger is one of our most valued and dangerous Muskie Hunters. His explosive fire starting skills have been rumored to start the early migration of loons to the Southern Hemisphere. Badger has a keen eye for finances and has been known to viciously attack any slow payers. Bob Bradley is Badger.

Lac Vegas - Who came up with this shitty nickname? Lac Vegas is known for his horrendous games of chance and littering Canadian waters with discarded electronic devices. He is also a drunkard and a long distance "master caster". Nesting eagles are now horrified of German Lures. Achtung baby! Jeff Taylor is Lac Vegas.

Cooter - Crazed like a northern pike catching, back-woods auto mechanic, Cooter is famous for beer foam vomiting and chronic masturbation. Fish are no longer intimidated by the hook setting abilities of the slimmed down Cooter. Underwater microphones have recorded multiple muskellunge whispering the phrase "Jimmy Houston, my ass!". Greg Federico is Cooter.

Yogi - Smelling like the ass of long-term hibernating bears, Yogi has been known to wear the same set of clothes for an entire fishing trip. Thank God he falls in the lake about 4 times a day. Yogi has also popularized the phrase of "shitting like a bear" due to his frequent trips to barren islands to relieve himself and wipe his waste hole with a slime covered fish towel. Mitchell Winfree is Yogi.

Flounder - Unable to stand upright in a boat for over 60 seconds, Flounder is certain to break multiple rods during his inaugural trip. Flounder is also predicted to impale himself and his boat partners with treble hooks, needle-nose pliers, and filet knives. During trips to "Mutilation Point" to deposit fish guts, Flounder is expected to be either eaten alive or to capsize his Lund. It is recommended that Muskie Hunters accompanying Flounder to Lac Seul wear ear plugs to protect their hearing from the piercing, lady-like screams emitted from Flounder when he enters the fish house and encounters a tree fox (RIP Rusty) or when he feels a hole-snake brush against his butt cheek while taking a dump in the shit house. Having the appearance of a flopping fish gasping desperately for air, Tim Shauf is Flounder.

And now your official duties. As the Bard says, "No fucking around, Josh". Take your responsibilities seriously as they are extremely important to a well run camp.....

Master of Provisions and Camp Liaison - Cooter. Responsible for crafting the grocery list and insuring that we don't leave the U.S. without a complete supply of food. Coordination of stops in the U.S. and Canada (I'm thinking we have to buy potatoes in Canada). Cooter is also the official camp liaison, communicating all in-camp requests to Gary (if he's still alive) and the Anderson's staff.

Firewater Chieftain - Yogi. Responsible for crafting the beer and liquor list and insuring that we remain drunk for 96 consecutive hours. Coordination of stops in the U.S. (beer) and Canada (liquor).

Camp Cooks - You have an impossible act to follow. Better bring it!

Dinner Saturday – Federico

Dinner Sunday – Taylor

Dinner Monday – Cooling

Dinner Tuesday – Harlow

Breakfast Sunday – Kay

Breakfast Monday – Winfree

Breakfast Tuesday – Burke

Sous Chefs - Assigned by boat pairings. If you are paired with the dinner cook for the day, you are sous chef.

Assistant breakfast cooks - Assigned by Dudley Do-Right.

Camp Bard and Official Photographer - Bardo. Creator and leader of nasty songs, poems, and limericks. Anything that involves fish and pussy is preferred. Also responsible for catching significant MH5 memories on film (or memory card).

Camp Librarian - Smut Peddler. I guess the next logical step is some sort of virtual reality device complete with goggles, one of those gloves with the wires coming out of it, and a rubber orifice. If that doesn't work, we can always put lipstick and a wig on Flounder. Nothing but absolute raunchiness will be accepted from the Smut Peddler, and he will deliver!

Big Fish Commissioner - Poco Pez. Poco is responsible for creating and executing the Big Fish Contest. The B.F.C. (Big Fish Commissioner) will create an elaborate chart to record our daily fishing conquests. He will also clearly post any and all rules prior to the start of the big fish contest. All decisions made by the B.F.C. are final. The Big Fish Contest is an extremely serious event, and the angler crowned as Big Fish Grand Champion should be revered.

Camp Commandant - Dudley Do-Right. Dudley is responsible for assigning camp duties including daily KP (kitchen patrol), gas replenishment coordinator, assistant breakfast cook, and camp clean-up. Dudley will create a chart listing all assignments and has authority to dole out punishment where necessary. Punishments may include tree fox tickling, out-house inversion, or the dreaded muskie-swim where you are tossed into the lake wearing nothing but a chrome spoon tied to your penis head and a buck-tail glued to your balls and forced to swim across Chamberlain narrows. Chomp, chomp!

C.F.O. and C.F.T. (chief fire technician) - Badger. The Badger is responsible for tallying all camp related costs, including food, gas, rental car expense, Big Fish Contest fees and associated costs related to activities created by the Director of Gaming (see below). The Badger is also responsible for the ceremonial lighting of the nightly bonfire. Take cover!

Director of Gaming and Master D.J. - Lac Vegas. The DOG (Director of Gaming) is responsible for orchestrating any and all gaming activities not related to fishing. Cards, dice, horse shoes, beer chugging, etc. fall completely under the authority of Lac Vegas. No electronic gaming will be permitted! In addition to his primary duties, Lac Vegas will serve as the Master D.J. for the evening music experience. He will create a "Muskie Mix" that will span the decades for your listening pleasure. All music requests should be forwarded to Lac Vegas. Although Lac Vegas has completely and utterly failed on his previous attempts as the DOG, he has to get it right at some point.

Assistant to Poco Pez and Chief Fish Cleaning Engineer - Big Fish. Big Fish will be second in command for all Big Fish Contest related activities and will be prepared to step in if Poco should be drowned or struck in the temple by his boat partner's paddle. He will also be responsible for developing daily boat assignments; creating appropriate boat partners to insure an enjoyable and productive fishing experience. Big Fish is also responsible for all fish cleaning activities, spending hours of quality time with the Fish Waste Engineer and his trusty filet knife.

Fish Waste Engineer and Tree Fox Control - Flounder - Assigned the most hazardous job in camp, Flounder will be responsible for the daily transport of fish guts to the designated dumping spot. As noted above, this area is also known as Mutilation Point (or the Bone Yard, Kodiak Island, etc.). When Flounder is not making the dangerous journey across Hurricane Strait to deposit guts, he will be kept busy by ensuring that there are no tree foxes taking residence in the fish house. Although somewhat friendly in appearance, tree foxes have the tendency to scare the living shit out of Big Fish when they make unexpected visits to the fish house during fish cleaning activities. For this reason, Flounder will be on constant watch for signs of a nearby tree fox (like the common tic, tic, tic call that they make just prior to an attack). The best way to keep tree foxes out of the fish house is to actually be present in the fish house (preferably with a fresh, cold drink available at all times for the Chief Fish Cleaning Engineer).

IMPORTANT NEW CAMP REGULATION - EACH BOAT WILL BE REQUIRED TO BRING IN 3 SUPPER FISH DAILY. SUPPER FISH MUST BE DELIVERED BACK TO CAMP BETWEEN 3:30 AND 4:00 PM SO THEY CAN BE CLEANED BY BIG FISH AND BE AVAILABLE FOR DINNER. THIS WILL ALLOW THE CAMP COOKS TO START DINNER AT AN EARLIER TIME AND ALLOW FOR INCREASED NIGHTLY GAMING OPPORTUNITIES. PLEASE DO NOT BRING SUPPER FISH IN EARLY (AND STORE THEM UNCLEANED IN THE FREEZER, REFRIGERATOR, OR FISH HOUSE). THIS MAKES THEM DIFFICULT TO CLEAN AND TENDS TO ATTRACT BEARS. A COORDINATED MEETING TIME WILL ALSO ALLOW FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF MULTIPLE BOAT PARTNERS DURING THE DAY. STAY TUNED FOR ADDITIONAL DETAILS.

Please start your preparations now! You can never be too ready for a fishing trip. See you at Knobby's!

Best regards,

Big Fish Babe Petersen

Training

Latest news out of Andersons. College swim teams have been training at Lac Seul. The treacherous waters and dangerous muskelunge make for a high intensity workout for these outstanding student athletes.

Say it isn't so!

In case any of you want to brush up on your skills before the big trip...The link attached shows that the mighty Muskelunge lives in NC.

Pretty sure Thor is behind this.

MH4 Songs

Nice work on the song, Vegas. I anticipate another drunken late night recording session. Here are links to the MH4 songs.



The Slime



What Hurts the Most



Fish Callin'



La Isla Bardita

Muskie Mix and a New Song

I have been working on the new Muskie Mix and have everything from Punk, R&B, Hip-Hop, Classic Rock, and even a Wings song for Bardo.  As I was going through the songs, I came across "Toes" by the Zac Brown Band and immediately thought it would have been an excellent addition to the songs that Biggie and Hampton did a few years back.  It would go something like this...

I got my line in the water, ass in the boat

Not a worry in the world, cold beer for my throat

Life is good today, life is good today

Well, the plane touched down around six o’clock

And the city’s gone from my mind

Muskies and smallies danced in my head

I was tying a lure on my line

Cell phones and email are their own prison bars

Like this life we are livin’ in

But the plane brought me farther, I’m surrounded by water

And I may not go back again

I got my line in the water, ass in the boat

Not a worry in the world, cold beer for my throat

Life is good today, life is good today

Adios and vaya con Dios

Yeah, I’m leaving Cary

And if it weren’t for the walleye, and muskellunge

I’d have no reason to stay

Adios and vaya con Dios

Yeah, I’m leaving Cary

Gonna fish in the hot sun and cast me a big one

And grab my Budweiser and pray

Four days flew by like a drunk Friday night

As the trip came to an end

Family still couldn’t believe that next year was already saved

They just don’t comprehend

‘Cause my partner, he’s in a real fight

His line has been hit and the fish has run

Maybe the slimy bastard can swim away

But I don’t know, Cooter’s got himself a gun

I got my line in the water, ass in the boat

Not a worry in the world, cold beer for my throat

Life is good today, life is good today

Adios and vaya con Dios

A long way from Cary

Yes all of the locals call us Amercian loco’s

When we head out to the Bay

Adios and vaya con Dios

A long way from Cary

All of the beasts won’t play without treats

And I got no more treats to stay

Adios and vaya con Dios

Heading back to Cary

I’m just gonna hop on that airplane

And put my ass in the chair, dreams on the way

Not a worry in the world, the smell will go away

Life is good today, life is good today

Nitro Boats

Latest update from Anderson's. Just got the new Nitro boats fully loaded with all accessories. See video for full demonstration.