After considerable deliberation and many sleepless nights, I have come up with the official nickname and camp assignment for our newest member of the Muskie Hunters.
Nickname - As we're all aware, TA helped save our trip. If not for his last minute addition, Flounder and Poco would have been resigned to fishing solo the entire week due to their rude and obnoxious behavior. We would have also encountered issues with gaming partners (what fun is it to play beer pong on a one man team?), car assignments, cooking duties, etc., etc.. In a way, TA has proven to be very courageous for stepping up at the last minute to join this ruffian crew of Muskellunge Hunters. His courage has reminded me of someone else who has shown courage in years past. Whether peeking his furry red head up through the floor in the fish house floor knowing full well that it was occupied, diving into the gut bucket to check for scraps, or staring down the barrel of Gary's 12 gauge shotgun during his final seconds of life, Rusty showed the profound courage of a true Muskie Hunter. Due to TA's courage and his appearance which slightly resembles a tree fox, Todd has been given the highest honor. From this day forward, Todd Andreini shall be known as Rusty (may God bless his soul).
Camp Assignment - As we're all aware, Rusty is a disgusting rookie bastard that likes to spend his days digging in guts and other assorted vile material. Due to this personality disorder, the executive board of the Muskie Hunters has created a new position. Responsible for daily maintenance activities of the shithouse and surrounding areas, Rusty's duties will include... Toilet paper and wet wipe replenishment, odor control (use the lime liberally), mosquito control (nobody likes to be bitten on their creamy white thighs or ass during the act of fried fish recycling), grounds maintenance including clean-up of the 1,000 or so matches that Bardo will burn during his frequent nighttime visits to the shit hole, and last but not least, porn replenishment and rotation (new magazines expected daily). Rusty is our Outhouse Steward.
On another note.... Due to Mitchell's (notice that he has lost the nickname of Yogi) sudden withdrawal from MH5, we have an open position. Cooter has accepted the position of Firewater Chieftain. Rumor has it that he has already contacted the L.C.B.O. to insure that our order is packaged and ready to go upon arrival in Ft. Francis. Congratulations Cooter!
Good fishing,
Big Fish
No comments:
Post a Comment